Magick and the Land.

Growing up living in a freezing cold dilapidated old welsh farm house, I wanted out. I mean I loved the trees, the air, the mountains, but I wanted something. Something I couldn't put into words. Even though both my parents are welsh to say I was strongly discouraged from even speaking with the welsh accent (my Dad would clip me up the ear if and when he was around to hear me) let alone SPEAK welsh, would be an understatement. 
I have lived in England now for what feels like an age and yet it was this land that showed me my "welshness". The casual racism, the cultural jokes and utter ignorance of even basic welsh history can be trying, but it is the culture I miss. That and the land.

 My inner landscape is not rolling meadows and little streams, it is wild rushing waters and purple mountains streaked with livid yellow and black. It is filled the sound of the rushing wind. The smell of snow. The taste of water that makes all other water taste weird and wrong. I miss the weather. I miss how my feet feel when I have been walking on the land. I miss the way I am part of it and it is part of me at such a deep level I am at a loss to describe. I have been to other very very beautiful places all over the world, full of ancient magick and wonder. Yet I always have the strongest feeling that rather than Cymru owned me. I belonged to the land somehow.

 Sometimes it calls to me in my sleep, sometimes when I am awake. It is this odd sensation of like the flow of water against the body, a tide or current with greater or lesser force dependent on where and when I am. At first it simply drew me back. As time went on and my odd exile continued I found I could draw strength and magick from the flows as well as expend it resisting. The lullabies I sang to my babies were in welsh. I would swear in welsh, and coo and sigh in it. 

For some people I am not welsh enough. Yet I am at peace because I am welsh enough for me. I am dreaming of living in Cymru again. This does not depress me, or leave me sad of where I am. It fills me with hope.  

 
I do not own the landscape images in this blog, all rights reserved to arts.

  No Tears:

This day, this date I lost someone more precious than I can express. I will not dredge up old pain. Old grief today. I have cried enough.

 Oceans

I cried oceans

I have cried sands

I have cried skies

I cried lands

I cried softly

I have cried loud

I have cried in secret

I have cried proud

I cried in bed

Alone in the dark

I cried in the garden

The street, the park.

I cried in the bath

So nobody would see

I cried on the train

The bus, in a car.

I cried myself sick

Swollen and blind

I cried myself angry

I cried myself kind

I cried without warning

I cried when I planned

I have cried oceans

I have cried lands.

So if today you see no tears

I have been crying

And crying

And crying for years.

 In Living

In living in remembering they live

In Shades and in half refelected light

The smell of hair: the warmth of breath

In living we are not utterly breft.

In living and in knowing

They live.

In the hazy warm of between

Gentle sleep and rude awake

We brave the day for their sweet sake.

Watching those who dare not speak

Press their grief and in darkness keep

To snuff out any warmth at all

Hot and burning tears might seep

Prize forgetting most of all.

I shall not ever shy away

From the warm memories, dreams that play

That turn to frozen dust in day

For in remembering they live.

Light.
How can there be darkness when I allow my own light to shine? It is never the light that is overwhelmed. Sometimes the light fades, sometimes it flickers or the wick makes spits and sparks but the darkness does not consume the light. I am going to shine today. I am going to embrace my joy. I am going to have faith in my light.
I am also going to be putting up new fairy lights and braving the crush of Saturday shoppers.
Wish me good luck.

Post Migraine funk.

My brain is not happy today and TK's is worse so...yay. Also everything I am looking at today is making me irritated that people who do not know what they are talking about are putting themselves out there as experts.

Here is where I would rather be today.

The Soul of the thing.

When someone comes for a reading sometimes they want to know about love. Sometimes work, or family. Then sometimes people come because they feel lost, a hurting ache that their path is withered away to nothingness.
Funnily something someone told me a long time ago rings true about this. If someone has a "sex" problem, it is usually and spiritual problem. If they have a "spiritual" problem it is normally about sex. Last night the readee wanted his life to stay the same, with the same people and the same everything else. Yet he had this sense of being "lost" on his path. All around him were coming new people and places and opportunities, there were also lots of endings. He didn't want this truth to be about his life, he wanted it to be about his "path" as though it was separate from his life.
It wasn't a "bad reading" but he was failing to accept the messages given because he didn't want them to apply.
Life and path are not separate. Path is just where you are going. When you look back you have made it into a path. Others might follow on it or not. How hard going it is is down to the choices you make today.

  This is not not to say that readings are pointless. As a means to have someone really look at your life and choices and see where they lead it is an amazing tool. One too few people use wisely but a tool none the less.

Life is change. This can be a tough concept because it can seem fearful. It is a joy, and opportunity, every day to be able to do amazing and wonderful things. Embrace the change.  :)

 Oh Dark Moon

Oh Dark Moon who gives no light
Your beauty is no less this night.
Crone I honor your gentle reaping of mine
I surrender that which has out lived it's time.
Sing over the loss of blood and bone
Return it all to dust or stone.
So I may rejoice and so too grieve
For the new to come and the old to leave.
The womb without and within
I honor my dance red widdershin.

Secrets.

So you may have missed me, or not! Any the who what with the projects I have in hand for gifts for people this Yuletide I have be away from the keyboard. (I can not type and sew.)
I always would love to share the joyous witchy goodness with you BUT some of the folks getting gifts READ my blog...
So, do forgive my absence and know that I love all my big and little fey and humans, but I am weaving and sewing my magick. I am baking and cooking up treats and sweets and I may even get round to making my (much coverted) chilli jam soon...
Also my hubby TK is working a lot on the laptop where my pictures are, and I am back upstairs on the PC, so no prettiness to even liven up this blog!!!