What happens when we die?

So about a week ago I almost died. This doesn't make me feel especially qualified to speak about death. My experience of speaking with "the dead" (all just seem like folk to me) all of my life has left me with certain impressions.
Firstly everyone is different. They deal with their lives and deaths differently too. Folks that had no inclination to believe there was or is anything else after death tend to have a hard time passing over. As do those who are frightened of what awaits. They are not always bad people, just scared. Also when we get down to it, souls and spirits are not the same, they are very different. Most things that are alive have souls. It is an awareness, a light, each unique shimmering force. The more conscious the being (the more sense of self and not self) the more flame like this soul force seems to be. Spirit seems to come from something else. I have encountered spirit creatures that seemed soulless, but rarely.
Spirit is the form they wish to be seen as (trees often take human-like forms when communicating with people in spirit though I feel this has to do with respect and understanding), a residual self image is a powerful thing. Like our own thought form we create throughout our lives. This spirit can leave the body, travel and go and do many things yet is is connected to the physical until we die. The silver chord is well documented in terms of astral (Veil) work. Souls on the other hand have no form or thought. They are (for me) swirling vortexes of energy. When a person dies their spirit carries this soul back to the place where it came from. A seemingly endless lake of pure liquid light. Sort of reminds me of the places dreams form in Roald Dahl's BFG. This soul place heals and nourishes the souls. Spirits when they cross over tend to have what they feel they deserve. Some have trails (metaphorical and otherwise) some speak to people they need to speak to. Sometimes the dead usher their own (family by blood or spirit) to some place together. Certain things mark spirits and souls, the taking of another's life especially so; also the "higher" aspects too, how loving, kind and sweet, how spiritual (not religious). Some spirits choose to stay in spirit. Some choose to be re-born. Some watch over the living. Some watch over a place.
Spirits that spend a long time not going through, or staying on this "side" start to fade. Their souls seem to leak, their memories get blurred and they often can not remember who they are or why they are there, all that energy seems to just dissipate. I have crossed some people through that were shadows of themselves. I don't know what happens when they cross over. I haven't seen it from the other side. For me I saw so many people waiting for me. So many places I could go. I was at peace to sit beside the river in the summer meadow, the sound of lazy bees and children playing, wafting on the air. Yet I called out for my husband, because I knew he would anchor me here, because there are books to write, people to help, and love, dances to dance and cake and cups of tea.   
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