Psychic in Real Life

Psychic in Real Life

I stopped doing public readings and parties and such like when my health got bad.
It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it, it was just such hard work. The energy of travelling to the space, setting up the energy, then the readings, then travelling home.
Every reading is unique. You are drawn into their lives and loves, their hopes dreams and nightmares. You see the discord between the face they show and the sorrows they walk with. Not to mention the spirits that are often with them.
I "got the message" very strongly that it was time to do readings again about six weeks ago, but I resisted because I was going through hell myself.
Then I get offered a spot and Cosmic Jewel's (a little stall in the indoor market in Hanley).
I did four readings the first week, which was great and the next day I felt energized and up. I could see the difference I was having in people's lives. I worried (as I do) that I wasn't good enough. I did struggle to find the words (especially with the young man who has the exact same problem).
By the end of that day everything felt a bit like mush though. Everything was just, SO LOUD.
I felt drunk and tired as I pressed through the city centre towards the taxi rank.
This week (Friday) I did ten readings. Often straight on top of each other. I felt I managed better, and most were only short readings, but I detached some oook from a "ghost hunter", felt their longing for home, held the hands of the heartbroken, wiped tears, and so on and so on.
It was all very intense and hard to explain to folks who might do a reading every so often what it was like.

I am overwhelmed by the privilege but it is not an easy thing for the body, spirit or mind. I am good at forgetting, but some images haunt you long after the reading ends.
I healed and help those who needed it (that is always the message I send out into the light).
It was sad for me to see C grow more annoyed with me that more and more people came. She resented me and that they weren't buying her things. I was "stealing her thunder" or "invading her territory". None of which was spoken. None of which was any of my business I suppose either.
I can't make her see that it is not about me. I am just a vessel for the light and it has a will all of it's own. I have no desire to look especially clever or important, I spend a great deal of time trying to be as "normal" as possible. That if she sees me standing in my power, owning it and radiating it, I do it to inspire, not intimidate. In the past "knowing" this, feeling it in waves from people made me want to shrink. I know now that I won't any more.
I wish she would raise her gaze from the ground. That she would stand up in her light and power. She has had to dim her light for others. I see the scars. She spreads her energy so thinly and has not faced her shadow, and I worry.
It feels better to give voice to this feeling. That I see a person struggling as I struggled, as all spiritual women do, with being so much more than we are "allowed" to be.
I spent much of yesterday asleep. It is the spiritual equivalent of running a half marathon (a full marathon is doing ten half an hour readings). Even if I Cosmic and I's journey ends tomorrow ( though we are not yet done I think) I have helped a lot of people the last few weeks and that feels priceless.

Whatever happens I will embrace this. This new place where I am to be the seer ad healer again.
It has only ever brought important people into my life.

Bright Blessings xxx