Unbreakable

Unbreakable

When someone is cruel and unpleasant, a bully or an abuser it is they, of course, who have the problem. Yet to ignore their actions, to giver responsibly back to the victims and not the people who are mean, cruel, who bully or abuse gives them no hardship. In fact what it does is give them permission to treat the next person the same, or even worse.

As a woman I am told all the time "Oh just ignore it" or "don't take it personally". 

While both of these are good for my blood pressure to an extent people who are problematic, no that is not the right word....

Unkind, people who are unkind get away with it. 

Now everyone has bad days, grumpy days, days when the dog wakes you up at 4.30am for no reason and you might snap at someone.

That is excusable. 

There is literally a reason.

We have created an environment where assaults, threats and unkind behaviour happen so often we have to have Government posters telling victims that what has happened is not okay.

Did the weird guy on the tube/metro grope you today? Must just be Wednesday!

Is that old guy standing on a box in the middle of the city center scream abuse religious or drunk? Just ignore him he will go away.

Someone spewing hate or gross inappropriate stuff on your feed? Ignore. Mute. Walk away.

Of course we are responsible for how we act. We are also responsible for what we don't do.

More than that the people who behave appallingly are responsible. They are culpable for their actions. 

It can be challenging to take a stand, to defend the victim. to say, "Hey! That is not okay!"

There are now train carriages to be only for women, because women are so groped. While I understand the idea of a safe space sounds great, we really should make the people doing this behaviour accountable.

We need to change the situation around. Women don't need women only carriages, we need guys not to grope.

In looking for a poster I had seen advertising or warning about groping I found a comment from a guy that said this.

"I'd grope a hot woman.... and she'd like it."

When we say nothing, when we back away, when we internalise it or explain it away the perpetrators think they have your consent.

If someone is a bullying ass at work and everyone knows, but no-one say anything they say things like

"Well no-one complained."

Your silence is seen as consent.

If your silence is consent then do nothing. Say nothing. Breathe through it and let it go. If it isn't then speak out. In as safe a way as you can.

We are responsible for ourselves, but we also as humans have a duty of care to those around us.

Make the world better. 

Speak up for those who might not have a voice. 

Stand for what you believe in.

We create the world around us with our thoughts and actions. We are not islands. We are web, a tapestry of light and colours. Be kind, be brave.

Bright Blessings xxx