All acts of Love

All acts of Love

 and pleasure are my rituals.

NSFW 18+

I have seen a lot of ho-ha about oral sex on-line this week. I thought I would add my perspective as a bi-sexual woman.

Let me just say that if your sexual partner/s has bad personal hygine (and guys are far more likely to fall into this group) then oral sex can be gross. If you have terrible breath you wouldn't expect someone to kiss you. 

Yet the grosses thing about giving oral sex to a man, scratch that, boys is the expectation of sexual entitlement. That push on the back of the neck or head. The way some push regardless of the other persons desire. Some boys have definitely treated my mouth, my voice and face as a wet hole to stick their cock in. THAT for me was my big issue with male oral sex for a long time.

I feel that oral sex with a woman is a different experience entirely. It wasn't a race to throw someone else flemmy body fluids as far back into my skull as possible. Not that it didn't become frantic, but more often than not it was mutual. 

Organism wasn't the finish line, they were the fireworks over the party. 

I think that sex with women taught me not only how to pleasure myself and other women it made me re-examine my oral sex expectations with men. I began to see it not as a "safe" cop out when I didn't want intercourse, or a facial violation. I began to see that if I could do all these amazing things to a vulva and clitoris, I could do them with a penis.

I discovered that oral sex for both genders could be decadent, without that sense of it needed to be a race.

I discovered it was an act of great pleasure. I discovered it could be wildly erotic. I discovered a sense of intimacy and pleasure it could bring both parties.  

In short, it is not the act but those who fail to understand it and miss the point of great oral sex.

Men, or more rightly boys, have a lot of really messed up and entitled ideas that come into play with oral sex.. These ideas of selfish pleasure, control and the lack of seeing the other person as a person at all. These tend to be the attitudes and experiences most women experience first. The push on the back of the neck, the pull of hair.

Note I have not said the word "blow-job" this is to me part of the problem. Blow-job implies work, not pleasure and blowing (really always thought that was odd and wrong). While"going down" and "eating her out" sound equally gross and badly descriptive.

I don't think anyone is entitled to any sexual act. Or that one is "better" than the other.

It comes down to this (sorry bad pun). If there is a pressure or expectation to do something and you don't want to do it, don't. In fact don't have sex with someone who doesn't get that.

"Getting off" while amazing is not the point of most sexual contact. Pleasure and organism are not the same thing.

I am lucky my faith sees pleasure, joy and sexuality as something holy and sacred. That our whole beings and whole self can take part in sexually acts. That sex is normal and healthy. I wish that this attitude of entitlement some women are now adopting (which is is just as repugnant as a when a man does so) would stop. Lets change this act to something beautiful, pleasurable and safe for all parties.

"All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals." 

Bright Blessings