Blood and Bone

Blood and Bone.

I had initially decided not to write about abortion and the act of terrorism that happened in the States this week.
I felt that, especially seeing the waves of frankly crazy foaming at the mouth reactions, it would be safer not to. The bravery of other women gave me the kick in the arse to.
Witches have been traditionally mid-wives and herbalist ready to help conception, and abortion.
There is a knowing that women are doorways of both life and death and pregnancy is physically hard work and potentially deadly. While this might sound far fetched in our modern clean age, childbirth in the States has a HUGE mortality rate. Any ailment that the mother has tends to flare up, causing all kinds of complications, some of which can be deadly too. Then there is birth. Before modern medicine half of women died giving birth. Half. From toxaemia to haemorrhage you are not out of the woods yet.
I say all this because certain men I have known have felt entitled to point out a woman with an unwanted pregnancy could "put it up for adoption".
Well she could if she doesn't die from complications. Also she will probably lose her job (most common reason a woman is fired in the world). She might get far behind or have to quit school too. As well as getting kicked out of her home.
You see a victim of rape can more easily be given access to an abortion. There is a sense of wiping away the physical trace of the rapist. Yet abortion should be accessible to any woman or girl.
It is her body, her life.
A child changes your life in often profound and far reaching ways. Having a child, however, doesn't make you a parent. A mother is so much more than a walking incubator.
A toxic mother-child relationship does unimagined harm, to both. Resentment, bitterness and anger not warmth and love is often the best the child can hope for, the worst is neglect and abuse.
Someone I went to school with grew up in just such an environment. She even told her she was a "failed abortion". My own mother wasn't much better but she planned me to save her marriage but that is a different blog.
It is fine for a woman not to want to go through all of this. It is fine if she doesn't feel safe, or ready. It is fine if she wants to finish school. Wait until she is more settled, with a life partner, or where she wants to be. It's fine if she just never wants to be a parent at all. It's fine if she already has no/one/two/three kids and she doesn't want any more.
If those foaming at the mouth about the sanctity of life wanted to really do something, make it easier and better for mothers. Maternity pay, on site childcare, allow women to breastfeed where ever and however they like. Free tribunals for women who lose there jobs during pregnancy or just after.
"But the taking of a life? It's murder!"
I don't think it is murder. Most often it is barely a bunch of cells with the potential to be a person. There is more murder in your morning eggs and bacon than this act. One that saves women and girl's lives every day.
You have to decide if the potential person is more important than a woman. Which is what this really boils down to.
Should a girl or woman who had sex be allowed to have control over her life and body?
Absolutely.


Bright Blessings