Clairvoyance

Clairvoyance 

 

So ranting isn't not good for me. I know I should just let things go and breathe and be calm. However their are quite a few things that irk me, none more than readers who talk shit. I have had the sight all my life. (This makes me special and awesome and have a hell of a time shopping or using public transport). I have had visions and knowings all of my days and learning how, and when to say and how much has been something I have had to learn. However the utter drivel that some readers feel the need to spout, shocks, enrages and makes me want to table flip.

You see, when I lay out the cards, look into the ball or stare sort of past them, I don't see unicorns, rainbows and fluff. I see lovers, liars, bosses, bitches, accidents, fights, rows, loneliness, love, babies, births, deaths, weddings, parties, large bills, victories and losses. I see life. In all it's ugly, lumpy, ordinary glorious heart-aching beauty.

Sometimes I see spiritual things, symbols of light and hope, but just as often I see being let down by contractors about the new sun-room. Because that is life, real life and that is what I see. Sometimes I can not see what people want me to see, because of the huge other things waving and glaring at me. It is an imperfect art and I never claim gospel, I have no monopoly on truth. Those that claim to or want to twist every card, every spread into some saccharin greeting card parody, miss the point. People know. People can tell. 

I have done psychic faryes and there were times as a reaction to the weird inflated glitterness of it all I wanted to put on a hessian sack. There were folks there with pictures of their own faces 15 feet tall (it makes me cringe so badly) or huge pictures of rainbow and unicorns (unless it get reinstated as currency in Scotland I doubt I will ever see a unicorn as part of a standard reading, though I did once see a rubber chicken- no I don't get it either but it made sense to the client). Some had boards of flashing L.E.D lights, and though I make a rule to charge the average in a room (or my standard fee minimum) I tend to make equal to, or more money than these people, and I believe that it is because of two reasons.

 One, I sit and ask for those who need me, not want me, to come.

 Two, I never, ever lie. I can try and make the truth as I see it as palatable as I see it but I always say what I see.

Now I have had to give money back to folks when I don't see anything or they don't like what I say "no, he isn't leaving his wife" or "sleeping with your boss is a bad idea".  

I had to leave a reading group on facebook this week because my interpretation was highjacked by a glitter spewer. It shouldn't make me mad. It just hurts. It hurts because I can see. This person was very rude and angry that I dared to say something that wasn't uber-super-neato happy. How dare I suggest that there was something lost, incomplete and painful in the cards seen? I stated it was not within my knowing from two cards and no spread, and no person to tell, the when, what and who. He went into great gushing detail about meeting a "water sign, in a car park on a sunny day, who was in need of someone to talk to but would be okay" and so on and so on... fill the void with noise. 

I don't know exactly why, (it was rude but I can get over it), this sort of thing hurts me. Hurts me in a way that makes me very angry. Maybe it is all I have seen. Maybe it is all the good I see in the real, in the ordinary, in life.

Why would someone want wash away the shading that gives depth to the world?

I don't know. I will breathe it through and relax. Fuss my stupid dog and be glad for the good I have done.