My week

My week

So I have a had a weird few days. On Sunday last week, I got struck by a "Thunderclap" headache (the worst pain I have ever been in) and I retreated to my bed growling (as only a dragon can) for a couple of days. Then I was still fragile but puttering around. On Wednesday I was still feeling crappy and TK put my symptoms into the NHS checker. It said CALL AN AMBULANCE and I was like "pfft".

So we did it again. Then we called the NHS helpline thing and they were like, "go to hospital NOW". I agreed that after he had done what needed to be done I would go to the emergency room, by taxi. Anyway we checked in with the nurse then we waited. And waited. and oh waited. Hours and hours pass and I am like "I can't be dying THAT much."

So finally, like 5 hours later I see a doctor who is really good. They do a C.A.T. scan to check for bleeding in my brain ( but as I waited so long it could have long since stopped.) So then the neurologist turns up. He doesn't look impressed. (At this point I am expected to get sent home.)

He admits me because they need to give me a lumbar puncture. I nod and smile okay. What ever they think is best.

I get whipped up to the neurology ward and spend the night being woken by either the other patients or the loud nurses and ward staff just talking really loudly. They wake you up at 7.30am. It takes about an hour for me to start to panic. After an awful breakfast and a cup of "tea" (hot milk someone has waved a teabag at) that was so awful I could't drink it) I decided I need to get a grip.

I spent the next couple of hours (until TK came in with my meds) meditating and healing with spirit myself in 15 minute blocks.

When I wasn't doing that I was researching or writing notes for another book (The Witches book of Baking <working title)

This spirit healing was not only welcome but it made me feel calm and confident, and let go of a lot of the panic.

So I had the procedure and though it took a long time it was not that painful. (I am bruised and a bit sore now mind you.) and then I had to wait for the results (which were fine).

So I rest. Then I remembered my plans to go camping for the Litha weekend. Nobody thinks this is a great idea. In the end on the Friday we have a simple barbecue in the garden with music and then shoot some arrows. TK and D, myself and mini witch have a lovely evening. I then decide to be adventurous and go to a stone circle I haven't been to before.

So we all pile in the car. The weather is great PAGAN ROAD TRIP, we get a little lost, have some great stops on the way. We arrive at nine ladies stone circle. Then we get there and walk through a beautiful forest. There are a lot of people, way more than I expected. It was a long walk and I am walking with 2 sticks/ walking staffs to support my back. All of the people we pass are hippy/alt. However all of them that pass us reek, and I do me reek, of beer. I used to live and work in a pub with TK and no matter how well you clean when you walk downstairs in the morning and open the door the smell of stale beer and sweat hits you. THAT is how they smelled.

I thought it was odd but we kept walking. Now we are all hungry. I am getting tired. So we stop and have a little picnic. Some bread, some nice sliced meats, some salad. We sit under a really, really old and huge beech tree. It is idyllic. Yet more people, some with very large dogs go passed, either carrying fire wood or carrying water up or empty containers down. I am think "Wow" this must be some rite!"

Anyway I am starting to get a very bad feeling.

We finish up and start heading the last leg. About 30 feet up the path I see a pile of toilet paper, and human shit. I mention it to TK and he saw it. We keep walking. There is more. There is garbage and more human feces and on either side of the path. We can now see tents. We can now hear music. There are fires and evidence of fire on the ground everywhere. There is rubbish and junk everywhere. There is a massive sound system set up. For a moment we wander around until we realize WE ARE AT THE STONES. We all look at each other. At the offering we had brought. TK takes a flower from the bunch we brought and places it on the historic place information maker. We turn around and start to head back. The sound of people ripping limbs of trees and being gross ringing in our ears. I had spotted a short cut back to the road on the way up and we took it on the way back. Mini witch did fall of the edge of the road into a ditch of nettles on the way back to the car. (This is where we lost our flowers). I pick some dock, and them some cleaves (which I chewed and spat onto the worst part of her wounds). We got back to the car all feeling sad and angry and hurt.

We head back to Bakewell and grab some water and pop into the little crystal shop. We get hydrated, wash a little mud and slush off us and feel a bit better. (I pick up some Preseli blue stone.)

We get back into the car and head towards Arbor Low. I am feeling a bit grumpy. As we arrive I can see a few cars and my heart sinks but I walk but through the farm and all the stress falls away. The peace of the place washes over me. I walk through the opening in the ring ditch and I feel it tingling tang of magick. The signs of a ritual are still there. There are bells and flowers on the central stones and symbols drawn in flour on the inward banks. We all split up and move through the space. I find a stone and try and lie down on it. It hurts like hell. I sit for a while and then take off my shoes and socks. I place the Preseli stone into one of the many divits in the rock and I can feel this sudden surge. I carefully go and lie down on the central stone feel the pain and grief and anger washing out of me. More folks arrive and I respectfully move from the central stone, though I could have stayed there all day and I make my back to to stone I started at. I put on my shoes again. I tried to organize everyone into chanting or something but Mini witch wasn't feeling it and so we just drifted. I went and sat at the mound opposite the circle opening. I sat and just surrendered. I cried a little. I let go. I don't know how long I was like that. Mini witch was walking around and around widdershins along the bank. TK sat behind me.

After a while everyone gravitated back towards us and then TK decided it was time for cake and we went back to the car. We began our drive back. I still sat with mini witch in the back and we stopped for a lovely pub dinner, though mini witch was asleep and wasn't pleased about getting out of the car. The food was really good, though not cheap! The building was lovely and had a great vibe.

When we got back D fell fast asleep on the sofa. I didn't have the heart to wake him! TK was ranting on Facebook about Nines Ladies stone circle and I know why. Rocks are his friends. To see them degraded in such an awful way was heart breaking. Why anyone, there where family bringing their children there to camp and pregnant women, to such a place and then shit on it, literally was just shameful. Utterly shameful. The idea that the mess they were leaving was "someone else's problem" and to be unable to understand that shitting upstream from the water you were DRINKING was both dangerous and disgusting.