Curses and Gifts

Curses and Gifts

You may or may not be surprised by the abuse I and other readers and psychics  have levelled at us on a regular basis.
We must either be liars or crazy, preying on the vulnerable.
I have never preyed on any one.
The truth is I have seen some folks with no "gift" do this. Not often though it has to be said. Psychics that do often get removed from a community pretty quickly.
As a smart child and a wary teen I figured there must be something wrong with me.
What I could see and know, the world as I experience, was not the world other's could see.
Being different and feeling very alone was frightening to me.
After all my years of training. After all my work, reading writing, teaching and practice you'd think that dread in the pit of the stomach that open's up when I see that line of verbal assault (I have even seen sceptics cheer physical violence) would go away; but it doesn't.
Like being bi-sexual, it is something fundamental about who I am. I can not change it, though there have been times I wanted to. I started drinking (rather a lot) at aged thirteen because it lessened the fear and quietened the overlay of people and things over the world.
So do I lie? The other accusation? I try and make what I see palatable. I try and help people make better choices, feel empowered. If I don't see something, then I say so.
When you can feel other person's physical and emotional pain through your body wishing them further pain or harm is the last thing I would want.
I don't take everything I see or feel literally. I understand that what I experience is my brain interpreting things and trying to make them make sense to me.
Now am I crazy? The visions and spirits can speak to me, but they are at my mercy not the other way around. I don't allow them to make me feel bad, or less.
Working with spirit is actually very empowering. I know (after lots of training) how to deal with spiritual stuff, the good the bad and ugly.
People on the other hand; the living, well they are a mess.
I have lost friends and respect from people I really cared about because it was fashionable for them to "bash" something they didn't believe in. Yet I behave as responsible way when I do get sick, vulnerable and folks in crisis reaching out for me.
Yesterday on my Etsy shop someone was "possessed" by an "evil spirit" and wanted a "budget" solution. I tried to get more details, but this person sounded ill, in pain and confused. I told them to go and see a doctor. I didn't charge them anything. I didn't make anything up. I didn't sell them snake oil.
It hurts.
It hurts me in my soul.
I can not be any less psychic than I could be any less bi.
I don't "do it for attention". I don't do it to look"special". I don't do it to manipulate others.
I see the world and feel the world differently. I see colours and spaces, shades of light others do not.
It is beautiful. It is awe inspiring. It is a gift.

Bright Blessings