Haters

Haters

I wish it were as easy to "shake off" the ignorance and prejudice and hate of people.

I wish I could tell folks in the broom closet that they would be accepted and loved for who they are. That they won't attract stupid and hurtful comments or that their "friends" and even family might  be the ones turn on them but the truth is, being different and acknowledging that can see hate spew from places you never expected.

It is hard to embrace who you are when you spend time and energy fitting into the lines other people have drawn.

If people love you, they will love you if you are pagan/gay/trans or anything else.

If they love the IDEA of you, the person you have to be in order to be "accepted" then that isn't love.

If they only love you when you a X, that isn't love.

Being "out and proud" is not easy. It is a whole lot easier than living in the shape of someone else's expectation.

Much like being gay, some families might think it is a phase, or even (Goddess forbid) something they need to save you from. This is because they have seen what happens to people who are different. They have seen the social code enforced, maybe even enforced it. The fear and the hate are deeply connected in "otherness."

It is a cheap and easy tool used to control people that "what is not us", is "other" and "other-ness" is bad. It is more rigorously defended by those who are frightened that they are "other" too. 

The thing is accepting your difference and being open creates a safe space for other's to do the same.

It creates solidarity and a community. It allows freedom.

It allows growth and healing.

In truly being ourselves we begin to heal not only ourself but those who stayed hidden and hurting in the past and might even be able to stop the prejudiced and hate from harming others in the future.

You are different? Good.

You are not supposed to be the same as everyone else.

We can only combat fear and hate with knowledge.

The bug up their ass is not about you.

It is about them.

It is about fear.

You can spend your whole life trying to make other people happy and you will be miserable.

Or you could, kindly, gently dance under stars and play strange music.

It takes time to figure out who you are. 

It is an on going process.

Sometimes it will hurt.

Sometimes you will fail.

Sometimes you won't want to lift your head of the floor.

Know that being yourself has a price but so does not being. Not being your self, guessing, second guessing, fearing of letting something slip, fear someone will notice. Is exhausting. It is a weight you do not have to carry.

If you are in fear for your safety, if physical harm or violence might come into play get help. Be it law enforcement, staying with friends or joining the Pagan Federation. You have rights.

I wish this wasn't a reality, that maybe awkward family dinners would be the worst you might face but truth is, it can be bad. 

Yet if we stand together we can heal the fear and hate, educate and cleanse the past and pave a better future.

Bright Blessings