Fear of Flying

Fear of Flying

When you change your life for the better. Have an attitude shift or just radiate kindness, many great things happen. You know what else happens? It draws out the spiteful, the tyrannical and cruel. That light you are shining draws them as well as the good. They mock, bully and try and shame. For the longest time I thought that when people misunderstood, made cruel comments or hateful words that it was me. That I provoked this cruelty. In a way I did. Yet how other people view me, judge me by their behaviour and standards is not only not my fault. It isn't my problem. It can feel that way but I have come to the point where I let it go.
You can often tell their problem by their words.

If they say you are "fake" they are insincere.
If they say you are "a fad" they don't know their own path.
If they say you are "stupid" they fear being stupid.
If they say you are "less" then they feel threatened.
If they say "you can't'" it is because they can't.

A lot of my life I have come to points where I was opening up and shining only to be hurt by the cruelty of others. I could not see that it wasn't me. That my light, and my art and my words are worthy and unique. That if people didn't "get it" or "get me" that the fault lay not with myself but with others.
Some of the loudest voices, especially when I was younger were my family and friends. The ones you want to love and support you the most. I let go of all that pain, in dribs and drabs over the years. More than that if I don't have something positive, or at least kind I don't say it. I don't always agree with all the crazy ideas and schemes but I do not need to poop in someone else's paddling pool; especially when I know how devastating it can feel.
When someone I called brother told me I could never be an artist, not one that could pay the bills; I was crushed. I put down my brushes for nearly 2 years. I didn't even get angry with him. I just beat up myself for daring to dream I was good enough!
Funnily I don't see it that way now.
I see someone who was told he would never be an artist and he spoke the cruel words that were drummed into him.

I know now that I am worthy, even if he thinks I stink. I know know that what I choose and do that bring me joy are what I HAVE to do.

When some people see you flying, their instinct isn't to marvel at the wonder before them, it is often to shoot you down because they don't fly. When you are brave they bombard you with their fears, blame and guilty and if that fails then spite and malice. Yet if you keep flying, following your joy, their arrows look tiny. They look even smaller.

Bright Blessings xxx