Amazing!

Amazing!

I am amazing! It took a good poke from a wonderful friend and an amazing healer to remind me and this is uncomfortable for me but here goes.

I am amazing. In a family and situations that would have broken a lot of people (it hurt and injured very deeply and I will always bear the scars) I remain.

I am amazing because I have forgiven crimes against my body, spirit and soul. This was not easy for me, nor was it something I was taught to do, but rather something I strive to learn and work at often.

I am amazing because I have a disability that makes reading, writing and maths (especially maths) really hard to learn, but I pushed myself to learn and to write with no support or help all the way up to degree level.

I am amazing because I have such a strong work ethic, to the point of stupidity almost, but I am learning to be, to dwell, as well as do.

I am amazing because I study the world and continue to learn as much as I can about all I can from herbs and mushrooms to dance and anthropology. I study and learn every day. I have a gift for anatomy and would have gone into nursing (I read nursing degree books for pleasure) had my illness not floor me.

I am amazing because after all the pain and struggles I take a gleeful delight in the beautiful magickal ordinary. From bubbles (who can be angry at the world that has bubbles?) and the tiny flowers, spiders webs in the morning light, the sensual world of smell and taste.

I am amazing because I write. I am really good.

I am amazing because I have a wide field of knowledge and skills. I learned wildcraft and foraging, birthing of animals, how to use a shovel, how to spot wield, mix concrete and cement. This do not exclude as a wealth of academic knowledge from history and anthropology, to anatomy and medical diagnosis. Then there is theology, meditation, healing, spiritual concepts and understandings. Then things like cooking, dancing, martial arts, gardening, massage of many many kinds. Then my artist training from poetry to photography, painting to writing plays.

I am amazing because I can take these separate skills and weave them together to create new. I see common threads those who do one, or another might miss.

I am amazing because I don't want to horde my knowledge (okay my cornbread recipe maybe) but delight in sharing and teaching others. I love to watch someone grasp something not only in their minds but in their bodies.

I am amazing because when I feared that the world was too large for me to change, I instead decided to change myself and help the world and people and animals in it every day the best way I knew how; one cup of tea and slice of cake at a time.

I am amazing because after all the pain and heart break all I want to do is love and cherish. To offer kindness even when it is perceived as something manipulative or grubby.

I am amazing because my instinct is to heal the hurts. Help those in need and protect those who can not protect themselves. It is who I am.

I am amazing because in a world that wants me silent and obedient I stand and sing and I teach my daughter to stand too.

I am amazing because I talk to dead people, faery's, diva, Goddesses, Gods, angels and all manner of unseen things without really thinking about being special, or better than anyone else.

I am amazing because I temper irritation of other people's ignorance with kindness and compassion instead of rage.

I am amazing because I accept the good I am given, revealing in simple things.

I am amazing because I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter, even though I had no model. My mothering is a core strength and integral part of who I am as a person without resorting "playing Mummy". It is expanding all my being and gave me gifts and love I could never imagine.

I am amazing because I understand everyone is. Everyone can be amazing and for the life of me I will never understand why they choose not to be.

Bright Blessings xxx