Little Dreams and Big Lies

Little Dreams and Big Lies

I have had a hell of a week. I have been to some dark places in my soul but it has taught me I am on the right path.
It has made me look at myself and give myself some more healing. I look at the lies we tell to ourselves and our children and each other and it makes me so sad.

Get a "proper" job.

There seems to be this idea of "proper" work, and not. Now what constitutes "not proper" changes. Yet the driving force is for people to settle for something "stable" (in this economy?). This is not to say I endorse poverty, but I do believe that spending all your time and energy on something that DOES NOT BRING YOU JOY is a waste of your life. It doesn't matter whether your job is "proper" or not. If you work hard, love what you do and can (in theory) make money doing it (or even if you can't), do it. Whether it is raising your own children (the hardest job I know) or being an artist, or anything else, it hurts your soul not living your passion.

My life will be perfect when I find Mr/Miss Right

Life is like homemade bread. The imperfections let you know it was handmade with love and care. There is this great Hollywood myth that a man/woman comes along and "fixes" everything. It is total garbage. Most relationships mess things up, challenge us, shake what we believed was possible. They don't "fix" anything. A good relationship (romantic or otherwise) is about enjoying a much as you can with this person. About having someone to tell you "I love you but your being an asshole" especially when you are being an asshole. They are to eat dinner with. Wait in doctors waiting rooms with. Talk in looks and faces no-one else understands. Sex is part of this but it is not the be all or end all because intimacy does not begin or end in the bedroom. You make your life. You make it with your thoughts and choices and actions every day. Ladies (you are particularly spoon feed this lie) a man is not going to come and rescue you. You don't need saving by anyone but yourself. If you look for a idea, an ideal, be it a knight in shining armor, a handsome doctor, or a hundred other tropes, you will always be disappointed.

Knights in armor are a violet guy in a tin can suit. That armor stops people from getting in, and no matter how shiny it is, there is a sweaty guy who enjoys smacking other guys with a weapon inside.

This idea stops you from being your own hero. Be Herminone, or Katniss, be your own hero.

This idea of perfection if they don't meet up to this unrealistic and frankly warped ideas about people means that people ether date, fall in love, fight and fail, over and over, or they settle after finding out someone was human. 

You should look like....   

Your body is yours.No-one else. Not your children. Not your partner or lover/s. It is yours and you can let it look however you want. 

A long time ago (when I was a kid) I was tiny and skinny. I grew up very active, for lots of reasons. I was a size 6-8 (2-4 US) until I hit 17 and I quit ballet. At which point I filled out to a 12-14 (8-10 US).  

People were mean when I was slim. People were mean when I was bigger. People are mean. Period and you will will always fail to meet someone standard of beauty. My "mother" is the worst. It was (when we saw each other) the first thing she would comment on. Again after having two babies back to back and being sick in bed, I gained weight. I then lost a lot by training and got back down to a size 10 at which I was told "don't lose more you look ill".

You can win. Just please yourself and have fun with it. I know people who are big who are super fit and super skinny who are not. Love all of who you are and don't let people get you down. Wear what you like.

Bright Blessings xxx